Comments from the Finger: This one's been on the table for a long while, and I'm glad it's finally out there. Go punch some magic into people!
Path of the Muscle Wizard
You're a wizard! Perhaps you went to wizarding school on a football scholarship or just picked up a book at the gym and started reading. No matter how you got here, you're a wizard, one that just coincidentally has massive, rippling muscles. You have the big dumb hat and the book filled with gibberish and everything!
You gently remind others, often by beating them to a pulp and cracking their bones, that your magical powers shouldn't be questioned. You're a good wizard, the best one, even! And only a fool would say otherwise.
Starting at 3rd level, your unquestionable legitimacy (and immense pectoral muscles) gives you advantage of Charisma (Intimidation) checks made to convince others that you are, in fact, a wizard.
Additionally, if someone questions your legitimate magical prowess, you can instantly fly into a rage for 1 round. This rage can't be extended and does not count against your total number of Rages following a long rest.
At 3rd level, you can call upon your "magic" to cast "cantrips" in combat. You can use the following "cantrips" a number of times equal to your Strength modifier. You regain all expended uses when you take a short or long rest. While you are raging, you can cast your "cantrips" at will; using them does not count against your total number of uses.
Mage Hand. As a bonus action when you take the attack action on your turn, you can use your hand (and you are a mage, after all) to attempt to shove the target over. On a hit, the target must make an opposed Strength check against you. If your Strength check is higher, the target is knocked prone.
Shocking Grasp. As a bonus action when you take the Attack action on your turn, you can hit your target even harder than usual, a fact which they will find quite shocking. On a hit, the target can't take a reaction until the beginning of your next turn.
True Strike. As a bonus action when you take the Attack action on your turn, you can really, truly strike your target. On a hit, you deal an additional 1d8 damage.
By 6th level, your "magic" is powerful enough to cast every "spell" that exists (and no one can or will prove otherwise without broken ribs.) However, you only prepared the following "spells" today.
You can cast each of these "spells" once and recover all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
Burning Hands. Your backhand slap is legendary. As an action on your turn, you can make an unarmed attack roll against each creature within your reach. On a hit, this strike deals 1d8 + your Strength modifier bludgeoning damage.
Magic Missile. When you take the Attack action on your turn, you can use your bonus action to make a ranged weapon attack using a ranged weapon you are holding. Because magic missile never misses, you have advantage on this attack roll.
Shield. As a reaction when you're targeted by an attack, you can quickly produce a shield to defend yourself. You gain the shield's bonus to AC against this attack, even if you weren't holding it before. If you are hit, you can reduce the amount of damage taken by 1d12 + your Constitution modifier.
By 10th level, you're such an amazing wizard that other wizards can't even touch you. While you're raging, you have resistance to damage from spells.
I Cast Fist
Starting at 14th level, you can crush your enemies with your ultimate "spell", Fist. While you're raging, you can use your action and bonus action to punch your foe really, really hard. Make a melee attack roll, with advantage, against one creature within your reach. On a hit, you deal bludgeoning damage equal to 8d8 + your Strength modifier.
Once you use this ability, you can't use it again until you finish your rage.
Changelog: 2/17/17: I Cast Fist: Damage increased to 8d8