May 10, 2017

More Mispelled Spells

Notes from the Finger: Hey guys, we found another paeg from the Mispelled Spelbook! 

Mispelled Spelbook Excerpts

The mispelled spelbook is easily the greatest prank pulled in the history of magic. Penned by a mischievous archfey in the language of the fey (which is, of course, always in rhyming verse,) the spellbook appears at first blush to be an immaculate tome, bound in rich leather, sewn with gold thread, and filled with useful spells. It is, unfortunately, cursed with a potent dyslexia hex, causing anyone who reads it to instead cast a hilarious misspelling of the original, often to disastrous results.

The following is an excerpt of spells from the book, with their accompanying misspellings and effects (known only to the GM before casting.)

Acid Splash. Acid Flash: You begin to hallucinate vividly and have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls for 1 minute. Additionally, the DM can choose one additional time within the next week to subject you to a second bout of hallucinations.

Confusion. Cowfusion: You undergo a horrible transformation, developing large black and white splotches, growing hooves in place of your hands and feet, and sporting a large udder. For the next 8 hours, you are a half-cow, an abomination of nature. You can't perform any action in your new form that requires the use of your hands, though you can produce a small amount of terrible tasting milk. (For everyone's sake, don't think too deeply about the milk.)

Disguise Self. Disguise Elf: Elves within 100 feet of you are magically disguised to appear as Vulcans from Star Trek for 1 hour.

Goodberry. Godberry: A stem gradually rises from the ground and quickly grows a perfect berry, made of solid gold. If you consume this berry, you are transported to the Upper Planes, where you walk in paradise for years, convening with deceased loved ones, experiencing the splendor of true divinity, and finally coming to know true peace. When it at last feels that a century has passed, you are suddenly transported back to the very spot you left, with no time having passed. You are now forced to trudge through a comparably depressing existence for the rest of your miserable days. You regain 1 hit point.

Hallow. Hollow: When you cast this spell, objects within a 60-foot radius around you are replaced with crude replacements that look convincing from a distance, but are actually made of cardboard and are completely hollow. The true objects are returned to their original locations after 24 hours.

Power Word: Kill. Power Word: Krill: You utter a powerful word that shakes the very room: Krill. A wave of thousands of small crustaceans flies in all directions. Each creature within 30 feet of you takes 2d6 bludgeoning damage from oncoming krill.

Ray of Frost. Day of Frost: At first, this spell seems to fizzle and fail. Shortly after, dark, ominous clouds form overhead and the temperature plummets. For the next 24 hours, a great blizzard rages within a 10-mile radius of where this spell was cast, blanketing every surface in snow and ice. When the duration is over, temperatures return to normal.

Silent Image. Silent I Mage: You and any creature within 100 feet of you capable of casting spells becomes unable to speak for 1 hour. Each of these creatures also has advantage on Dexterity (Stealth) checks for the duration.

True Strike. Tree Strike: On your next attack roll, you have advantage. If you roll above a 10, you instead somehow hit a tree. If there is no tree within striking distance, you teleport to the nearest tree at the moment you attack, strike it, and return the very next moment.

Unseen Servant. Unseemly Servant: Initially, this spell appears to function as intended, and creates an unseen servant, as per the spell. This servant seems to be defective, however, or is more than likely drunk. It stumbles around, knocking objects over when you command it to move, and clumsily fails at any task you command it to perform.

13 comments:

  1. You misspelled page as paeg. Or that was a joke on how everything was misspelled, in which case... well pyaled

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  2. I have a suggestion for another one. Leather fall. Everyone in a radius that is wearing leather is knocked prone.

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    1. Eye, this wo'nt be the last yule here of the missspelled spellbok!

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  3. I really wish you guys would compile all of these misspelled spells together in a PDF. It would make Using them against my players so easy because it could be the spell book of a baffled old wizard.

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  4. Fireball = Firedoll: A flaming doll appears, and sings a nursery rhyme as it melts, creeping out all enemies withing a 30 foot circle.
    Charm Person = Warm Person: One person feels warm, and is considered adapted to artic environments for a minute.
    Hold Person = Cold Person: One person feels cold, and is considered adapted to desert environments for a minute.
    Thunderwave = Plunderwave: All people in a 15ft radius must make a strength save or have all their coins be placed at their feet, easy to steal.

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  5. Day of Frost sounds incredibly powerful. It also makes me giggle a bit because in one of the settings I play in there is a godlike being called Frost.

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    1. Yeah, some of these are very powerful, others are dreadful. The point of the Mispelled Spelbook is that it doesn't care about things like balance (or spelling.) That's why I opted to leave these descriptions pretty loose -- there's no formal entry for range, duration, or components.

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  6. Fireball > Firball: Pine needles engulf everything in a 20 ft radius sphere. Dex save or take 4d6 piercing

    Vicious Mockery > Vicious **ckery: A disembodied penis appears in front of target & slaps them. Still does 1d4 psychic damage & disadvantage on their next attack as target tries to figure out what the hell just happened.

    Aid > Maid: A humanoid appears & cleans a 20 ft cube area before disappearing.

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    1. I'm using vicious cockery and maid that cool

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  7. I must say I've kinda had enough of those spells. They're funny and all, but they feel more like a joke about the game than something that can actually be inserted inside the game.
    But then again, my default language while DMing isn't English, so I guess that changes things.

    Aaaaand... suggestions:

    Friends -> Fiends: Summons 1d4 imps.

    Message -> Massage: The target feels a mage hand massaging them, and feel relaxed and relieved of stress.

    Healing Word -> Healing Worg: Summons a Worg that heals any target it bites by 1d12 hp (but also deals normal damage).

    Sleep -> Slip: A target must make a dex save or fall prone.

    Dispel Magic -> Misspell magic: The next spell a target creature casts becomes a misspelled version of the spell.

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    1. Oh, they're /absolutely/ intended for a one-off gag, and not a permanent rules supplement (which is why I've chosen to abandon the formal spell formatting we normally use.) I suggest letting each spell from the Mispelled Spelbook be cast only once, in fact.

      And I had the same note sitting around about Mispell Magic XD

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  8. Leomund's Tiny Hut > Leomund's Tiny Hat: Bestows a comically undersized hat on the caster's head.

    Antilife Shell > Antifife Shell: Wind instruments will not function within 30 feet of the caster for 24 hours.

    Mage Armor > Mage Armoire: Produces a wardrobe containing several sets of robes and pointed hats.

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  9. Hollow is actually super useful man. I can easily see setting up ambushes and weird, gaslighting, psychological shenanigans. Also Silent I Mage is perfect for some awesome boss debuffing

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