April 3, 2017

The Toon

Otherworldly Patron
Notes from the Thumb: Shave and a haircut...

Out on the edge of the multiverse is a demiplane called Toontown, a wacky place inhabited by toons, creatures of ink and magic that defy logic. In Toontown, the laws of space and time take a wrong turn and dive straight off a cliff; it’s an eternity of loony hijinks, a torrent of silliness, a plane that despises seriousness.
     Toons take many forms -- often little critters or animate objects with exaggerated eyes drawn on them -- but the Barons of Toontown are known far and wide. These powerful (and copywritten) toons can let you bend the laws of space and time, provided that you leave a trail of slapstick jokes and utter silliness in your wake.

Toon Expanded Spells
Spell Level Spells
1stfeather fall, hideous laughter
2ndblur, rope trick
3rdhaste, stinking cloud
4thconfusion, freedom of movement
5thmislead, passwall

Big Pockets
Starting at 1st level, you scoff at lengthy encumbrance rules. When you open a pocket, bag, or other container that you touch, you can choose for it to lead to your personal extradimensional space, which is 64 cubic feet in volume. The container’s opening stretches to accommodate items of any size which can fit within the space, and items within the space are weightless until removed. When you reach into this space, any item you intend to take is magically on top. A container loses this property when you are no longer touching it.

Zany Limbs
At 1st level, you have elastic, fantastic limbs. You can stretch your arms and legs up to 5 feet beyond their normal length, allowing you to interact with distant objects or creatures, and your melee weapon attacks have the Reach property.
     Additionally, you can ignore the Heavy property of weapons.

By at 6th level, you have a knack for cartoon violence. When you take bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing damage while you are standing, you can use your reaction to halve the damage taken and also be knocked prone, as you are either squashed flat, deflated like a balloon, or momentarily chopped in half.

At 10th level, when comically convenient, you can use your bonus action to turn sideways and become completely flat or to return to return to three-dimensions. While two-dimensional, you can fit through passages as narrow as 1/2 inch across, and you have half cover from ranged attacks. Additionally, you can also glide on the wind when you fall, floating 2 feet horizontally for each foot downward you fall. However, you are far more fragile, and have vulnerability to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage.

Anvil on Head
Starting at 14th level, you can employ the oldest trick in the animator’s book: dropping a heavy anvil right on your enemies! As an action, choose a 5-foot square that you can see within 30 feet of you. A heavy, oversized anvil materializes up to 100 feet above the square and falls to the ground, crashing through any obstacle it meets on its way. A creature hit by the anvil must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 10d10 bludgeoning damage and is knocked prone and stunned until the beginning of your next turn, while literal stars orbit its head. On a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage and is not stunned.
     Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

Notes from the Thumb: Two bits!


  1. Love this so much!!!
    The slapstick and anvil are awesome
    Just wish for some more related invocations to go with the patron especially since the new ones

  2. I swear I've seen this before. Deja Vu. The Matrix is glitching.

    Regardless great job guys it's hilarious.

    1. They did a magic item list that had a version of "The Mask" that had some of these abilites

    2. Ahh that's right. I knew I had seen similar before. Thank you.

    3. You're welcome, Imperial scum :)

    4. Where is this Magic item list?

    5. The 50 Magic Items book, available on Patreon.

  3. First off love this completely. Second isn't feather fall on the extended spell list a little unnecessary since the two dimensional feature kinda covers that if I'm reading that right?

    1. Until you get that feature, it works. Then you can trade it out for something else.

    2. I'd argue that it's not redundant at all (that's what I was trying to do with my 11:34 post, but blogger wasn't playing ball).

      Feather Fall can target creatures other than yourself, potentially saving the entire party from Gravity's nefarious clutches. It also doesn't lumber you with damage vulnerability and can be cast as a reaction. Two-Dimensional is a bonus action, so it can't protect you if you fall by accident or due to enemy action.

  4. I've done so much to make my character function basically as an average warlock with this patron would. God we're going to have to rewrite our campaign a little for me to use this instead.

  5. WOW.
    This is just so wonderful.

    Any chance of getting cartoon weapons (gun with talking bullets that can wield axes, I'm looking at you)?

    1. If there is enough interest, we could do a pack of all our funny and joke content (silly magic items, Cluckromancer, Meta warlock, etc.) and possibly add something like that.

    2. That doesn't sound bad (just drawn that way).

  6. My patron is the ultimate Dark Lord of the universe: Elmer Fudd. My pact weapon is a shot gun that I use to aim at rabbits who practice the Luck Domain.

  7. So... would i be able to put enemies inside my storage dimension for a surprise attack or if their unconscious?

  8. I would see this working well with a couple of the Feats of the Genre Savvy, such as Cartoon Physicist and Fourth Wall Breaker. Chuckles