Comments from the Finger: We got a big carried away with this bit and we ended up with 50 of them. It's a good thing.
Sometimes the local village doesn't have an outbreak of mummy rot or devil's foot, or some other horrible sounding ailment; sometimes, it's a mostly harmless bug going around. Here's a bunch of diseases to throw at your players!
d100 | Disease |
1-2 | Chickening Pox |
3-4 | The Swine Flew |
5-6 | Achy Breaky Bones |
7-8 | "Bard's Itch" |
9-10 | Burning Hands and Feet |
11-12 | Chaotic Personality Disorder |
13-14 | Club Horn (for tieflings and orcs) |
15-16 | Dungeon Fever |
17-18 | Sudden Existence Failure |
19-20 | Daddy Rot |
21-22 | Abyssal Worms |
23-24 | Hypoactive Luck Syndrome |
25-26 | Goblin Breath |
27-28 | Duergar Pattern Baldness |
29-30 | Healing Potion Dependency |
31-32 | Elven Existential Ennui |
33-34 | Chronic Depressive Disorder with Edgelord Tendencies |
35-36 | Beholder Eye |
37-38 | Dracophobia |
39-40 | Tasha's Hideous Dermatitis |
41-42 | Post-Dungeon Paranoia Disorder |
43-44 | Zombie Decay |
45-46 | Wizard's Burnout |
47-48 | Mage's Hand |
49-50 | Otto's Compulsive Dancing Disorder |
51-52 | Potion of Giant Strength Addiction |
53-54 | Attention Dysfunction Haste Disorder |
55-56 | Illusion/Hallucination Confusion Disorder |
57-58 | Adventurer's Back Strain |
59-60 | Manic Pixie Disorder (Generalized) |
61-62 | Summoner's Sickness |
63-64 | Strumpet's Ooze |
65-66 | Hatter's Madness |
67-68 | Hero's Delusion |
69-70 | The Alchemical Shakes |
71-72 | Cockatriceitus |
73-74 | Tieflophilia |
75-76 | Impacted Wisdom Modifier |
77-78 | Backstory Amnesia |
79-80 | Mad Gnome Disease |
81-82 | Chronic Backstabbing Disorder |
83-84 | Familiar Syndrome |
85-86 | Hyper-Kleptomania |
87-88 | World-Domination Delusion |
89-90 | Lich's Itch |
91-92 | Axe Hands |
93-94 | Spontaneous Rageitus |
95-96 | Repeated Resurrection Whiplash |
97-98 | Post-Invisibility Discoloration |
99-100 | Terminal Scrying Disease |
So are their effects to these diseases or do i just adsume litchs itch is what bards get after a fine day of man whorein.
ReplyDeleteThe second one!
DeleteMake bard's itch not 100% curable by any means, ma be temporarily cured but has a chance to relapse. to quote leo from that 70's show "Don't be fooled man, VD comes back."
ReplyDeleteI'm quoting that 70's show a lot, and that's one quote that luckily never came up... till now.
DeleteHow does this not have the "funny" tag?
ReplyDeleteBecause Bard's Itch is a deadly serious disease!
Delete...
I'll add the tag.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDaddy Rot? What a loaded name.
DeleteTo paraphrase Derrick Allen's quote of that 70's show: "Don't be fooled man, VD comes back... In time!"
DeleteJust in case any of you missed the pun (I don't like explaining jokes, but my fellow digits all missed it at first because it only works in British English): it's a play on the canonical disease Mummy Rot. You know, because we call our parents mummy and daddy over here.
DeleteI know, I know.
so tieflophilia is the inability to be aroused by any non tiefling race
ReplyDelete